Work sets you free

What ever your mental health diagnosis or problem be it’s safe to say that it actually feels like some form of death sentence. For the rest of your sodding life you will battle to stop the mischievous voices winning,the depression winning,the mania winning or the stigma becoming so out of hand winning. The choices are similar to picking which weapon you would prefer. Personally I hope the mania takes me if the choice be it. The sense of ” fuck it”  is the better sin of places. Bring me the drink the drugs the sex and the fact I am near on a frigging super hero. I shall die in my cape.

Seventy years ago some tosser with a tash would have marked us up and killed us for our mental health conditions. Since then advances and research have allowed for increased understanding. Or has it? By the high up powers has it? At the lowest level, as a sufferer I add to the stigma, I lie to my children that I work,they do not know I am in full time therapy. I can describe bpd until the cows come home to my family and friends. Those cows have had dinner, done their homework, chilled in front of the tv and gone to bed,and still my support network will not understand. I know for a fact my friends partners see me as that “bad Influence”  friend,  because I have chaotic relationships, distorted yet chilled views, and probably behave recklessly when I’m overwhelmed. In every dispute within my relationship my mental health becomes a scapegoat, the same for the breakdown of friendships,and because I’m so conflicted myself I allow it. No matter how much I rationalise that maybe I allow arse wipes into my life,  I myself will blame me. This is the mild levels of bad stigma I live with. We all live with. If someone with mental health reacts to anything that someone else does not like or we aren’t conforming as wished, mental health is there to alibi. Let me take this opportunity to say ” mental health does not change the fact people act like total pricks”.  You have your own  stamp book.

However the stigma,the one that apparently is becoming less, actually gets worse the higher you climb in society. Scarily once you get to the top you are target b, refugees currently have top place. Poor bastards. Propaganda and our government are a dangerous duo. We all know this, but let me tell you how fuckin scary it is when your at their perceived, bottom of the shit pit. Yes a minority of people but this number is increasing and will continue to do so thanks to some toffs idea of making the statistics appear better for the voters.

Mental health is a drain on the NHS. Ooooooooooooo whip up some tax paying, probably tax avoiding, hater. Bring in good old channel four to cover this. Bed crisis, psychiatric fly on the wall documentary, show the staff over worked.  Show the patients being treated, recovering and coming back. God dammit. Aren’t they a nuisance of non contributing, draining individuals. Well. Dear conservatives.. You have so few beds in psychiatric hospitals and few actually educated staff so when a patient comes in why not send them to a private clinic and fork the bill. The priory I hear is where a recent member of my own tc has been placed and from what I hear his common people’s problems and triggers will be well understood amongst the wealthy addicts. Phewee. It’s almost ridiculous that diploma routes for nurses and midwives were scrapped by you, especially when you employed those that labour saw through education and helped to train. Dried up future students in your aim to make everyone require some serious university debt. Dust your hands off. I note the next target is junior doctors, and I won’t start on the fact hospitals remain the same size despite the ever increasing population. My local maternity ward has been the same size for almost forty years, my town however is now requiring city status. Anyway back to mental health.

Therapeutic communities have run for fifty odd years. It began in a famous psychiatric hospital and evolved based on the effectiveness. Research has time and time again proven it’s effectiveness. More and more communities became available. It is to date the most effective form of treatment for personality disorders. It’s an eighteen month course. Yes it is expensive for the NHS. Eighteen members a time in mine at maximum compacity. But in this time people fight to get better, they learn, they talk like they never have, it’s an experience anyone else would watch with wonder, amazement and pride. The backgrounds of these people would see many other government services sued and shamed. These people leave with skills that allow them to work, to manage relationships, to have fewer blips than ever. Yet to make the statistics work you scrap these communities. You install talking therapies. It’s insulting. Talking therapies is the biggest waste of mental health funding. In a set few weeks you aim to achieve nothing but a short term result. Who is measuring the long term effectiveness? These people will leave and continue to use services within the system because talking for one hour for ten weeks is a drop in an ocean. You have implemented twelve week programmes, yes they will show on paper short term improvements. Twelve weeks for an hour a week. Disgraceful. I panic for those intering the system. They will never be able to work effectively or for long periods. They will bounce from one chaotic situation to another and probably always require an addictive crutch. More will break, more will stay in the cycle of the mental health system. Statistically the correlation between mental health and physical illness is high. Psychosomatical Illnesses and somitization will do this. But throw pills at us and never help cure, cheaper short term fix. Extortionate long term, but who needs those figures in campaigns. A round of applause for your negligence.

If only this was where it ended. It has been suggested that those with mental health should wear coloured wristbands to highlight their mental health struggles. Reminiscent of some historical time. It has been claimed it would assist us to be treated more fairly and sensitively, so others know our needs. I shall speak for everyone and say blue will not be any of our choice of colour.

Is it enough that you portray mental health as a drain on the NHS? NO. How about you loop us into your benefit system shambles. People died of cancer sooner than they received disability, brilliant new scheme was the pip. But who cares? Wasn’t your family. Disability for mental health is a toughie. It can’t be seen so how can it be judged fairly. I would say a stack of information on a rio site may help. Or the lacerations covering someone’s body. How about if their receiving therapy, or are on physiatric doses of medication? Would it be if the crisis team where involved in the last however long (uneducated donkeys employed to totally tip you over the edge you are stood on, cheaper than educated, but doh..  No labour.. No training worth while).

Propaganda time. Where is channel four with another accurate portrayal of those on benefits. My my they must have spent serious time finding a handful of bad net slippers. Shove them on the box and help distort society’s opinions more. It worked. Shamless, benefit Street.  It would infuriate me to know people where stupid enough to use this crafty example as the basis of their beliefs. What about the many people in this rich country using food banks? The people who work more hours than the rich for less money, who rely on benefits to top up their wages because their three jobs aren’t enough. What about a programme on the impact of zero hour contracts? What about the mental health people fighting to manage and struggling, wishing life was over, with no support for their families from any agencies. Failing agencies. Agencies that step in only when crisis point is hit. Again no support along the way.


It is apparent why I, we, others do not stand up against stigma. We are tainted in a sneaky way. In lots of sneaky ways. Hatred is growing against many minorities. The upper powers and this western propaganda is doing a remarkable job at nudging things in this direction. An example of this (apologies and no offence to those who have this), the semi colon. The butterfly. What ever the tattoo of the time is. I think it can be an inspirational mark for yourself to remember your struggles and remember there is always a choice and a light. However, after thinking I may have one myself I realised I would be branding myself. You may as well throw me the wristband. I am branding myself.  For what? For whose benefit? Who really wants me in a pigeon hole with a number around my foot. The vulnerable will always be there, the old, the young, the Ill, the homeless,  the refugees. It is one world. One race. Anything that makes you vulnerable has no prejudice, we are all one incident, one year, away from being victim to circumstance.


Working hard does not set you free. Unless your of a high class, you are screwed. Work hard and work shit hours for shit pay and we will not make sure you are topped up enough to eat. Work hard at treatment, therapy, rehabilitation, we will not cover your extra needs as a vulnerable person or make entering work easy. If you cannot afford to learn you will not be easily employed and we shall shut doors as you go. Freedom has only ever been achieved by fighting for it. I may be batshit but sometimes I am glad it gives me fight in the darkest times. If only everyone would fight.